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shellbers, are you anticipating any of which you speak of above, for yourself?
Not this year, dear Skals (peace, luv!).
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Have you sipped the wine and eaten of the bread before at this ritual, as an exjw?
I have not missed but one "ritual" since 1983, luv. I missed the one in 2011 due to surgery...
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And if so, what was the reaction then?
Although I "discussed" the matter with whatever sundry group of "elders" was "over" me from about 1983 (as just a Bible study) to 1994, I first partook in 1995, just after receiving a response and apology for delay from WTBTS to a letter I'd written over a year earlier I "should be patient," as "perhaps" there would be "more information forthcoming." I had no idea what they meant... or when... but I knew that I could not go another year without doing so. All but one "elder" was miffed (the one that wasn't knew I had written the letter the year before because he was the one who had advised me to do so, when I asked HIM about the matter - they subsequently published a chart from my letter in their 10/15/95 WT, in the article regarding the "separation" of the sheep from the goats... which prompted that "elder" to ask to read ALL of the letters I had written over the years... some of which were NEVER responded to. I digress.).
From that point on, though, many people got pretty nasty. Although the "elders" never said anything straight out (well, not then, anyway)... others were pretty horrid. They went after my family, first - my children (who had encouraged me to partake - they said they could handle the fallout, which we all knew would occur, but that I had to do what I had to do. That... and they were probably sick of seeing me cry after EVERY Memorial, because I felt SO horrible - like I'd passed by something meant for me, a gift, given out of the GREATEST of love and kindness... and I just rejected it, passed it by, for no good reason whatsoever. I was traumatized almost every year.).
The women were the worse, though... and to this day I have a very hard time trusting women. While the men would smile fake smiles, they weren't outright mean or nasty. The women, however, went from "loving" me, to saying all manner of nasty things, most whispered (but in a way such that I would know I was the topic), but often outloud. Not direct, of course, but "as if" they were talking about "someone" else. Okay... sure. Right. My eyes started to open when they began to slander my children... BECAUSE of me. It happened so often... and once, so heinously... that I could no longer excuse it.
But I didn't leave... until my Lord told me to leave. Which was AFTER he had me share a plethora of things with those "elders" and a couple of "CO's." Which I did in the course of 14 JC meetings. Come time they asked for a 15th one, though, I was told to tell them that I had shared with them all I was permitted and so saw no reason to meet again. And so I was DF'd... for "disobedience." Apparently, obeying their summons to attend 14 meetings just wasn't enough "obedience." I was ASSURED, however, that I was NOT be DF'd for apostasy. But that was only because EVERYTHING I shared with them I backed up... either with the Bible or with their own publications.
From then on... well, not even the men were nice. One "elder" would literally gnash his teeth. LITERALLY. One Memorial, he was grinding them SO hard, I said, to him, "Please be careful with that gnashing, Brother, as you might hurt yourself." He was SO taken aback, didn't even know he was doing it... that he turned deep red. And he's a dark-skinned Asian man!! LOLOL!
Ahhh, the memories...
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What reaction do you foresee tonight for yourself?
None, luv. For one, they no longer react when I show up. They used to get all nervous and stuff. I remember one year, the parking attendants went running inside, loudly whispering, "She's here! She's here!" I thought... "Really? What the... isn't this night supposed to be about CHRIST?! What in the WORLD are you folks so worried about ME such that you're now not just running around, but making announcements??!!" LOLOLOL! I just shook my head, parked my car, went inside, greeted those who greeted me, partook, said a few good-byes (although none were returned), and left. Easy-peasy... as it is every year.
Tonight, though, for the second time in two years I am not going to my former congregation. Last year I didn't because by the time we arrived (my daughter and another dear one), we just went in to the meeting that was about to take place. This year, though, I wasn't sure. I kept hearing that "no one" was left in the congregation where I last attended as a JW. It made sense to me: the area has grown, the congregations have been split and relocated several times, etc. My understanding is the most who knew me have either moved out of the area, moved to another congregation/KH, been moved to another area/KH, have left/faded, or are DF'd themselves.
And so I was confused for a couple of days because I didn't know what to do. And THEN dear Hubby told me that he had to go to HIS old congregation! THEN, dear stepson said if we went to dear Hubby's old congo HE would go with! And so, THIS year... I am for the first time NOT going to my "home" congo... but to dear Hubby's. And since no one knows me there... and no one would DARE say anything to dear Hubby OR dear stepson... I don't anticipate ANY reaction, other than maybe some looks of pity ("Poor thing; she doesn't know she's not SUPPOSED to partake, and HE's always thought HE should so of COURSE he would convince her to do it!" They're wrong, of course - it was the other way around - LOLOL!)
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and is anyone else going, that posts here as a devoted lover of Christ, going to partake at this ritual and what reactions do you anticipate for yourselves?
Oh, yes, luv, but I won't name names. They can all speak up for themselves, if they wish. Some already have and have posted what they have experienced/anticipate. Dear 'Mom, for example...
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I am going to the local hall, as my mechanic says not to risk those two grades with my car. PLUS, I GAVE IT MORE CONSIDERATION re: if it is the right thing to do to contend with my mom and her husband at this ritual. It may end up disasterous and that would absolutely defeat any purpose. However, I do plan on going to my childhood kh at some point in the near future for this endeavor.
I totally understand... and I would NOT recommend you use this night/event as a way to catch up with your dear mom/her husband. It is neither the time nor place for confronting childhood issues... unless it is the ONLY time and place and such issues MUST be addressed. Otherwise, I would offer that it should be between you and mom/her husband, first:
“If your brother sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, (THEN)
tell it to the congregation; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a person of the nations or a tax collector." Matthew 18:15-18Quote:
Now i wished i had not hyped this trip up as i did on the conf call. i'm sure i will get a bit of a "beating" from some who were looking forward to the follow up. SORRY!
Ah, well... we all do/say things we later wish we hadn't. Even those who might wanna beat you up - LOLOL! Part of being human. Just tell 'em it didn't go like you thought it would and leave it at that. Let them "speculate" all they want to. If they're kind people, they'll drop it quickly. If they're not... do you really care what they think?
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This one here starts at 8:30pm...is this normal?
Yes, ma'am. Some KHs/venues serve more than one congregation, so one does their thing right around sundown, then haul out of there right after so's another can come do their turn.
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Keep in mind, years ago i canvessed this kh's territory with JESUS CANO case [bethelite pedo caught at airport w/ porn on phone and he was taking pix on his phone in airport bathroom...google it]i had fliers and talked about how people did not have the info about this org regarding child abuse cover ups, etc. So it will be interesting if anyone recognizes me. Plus, some mat know me from coming to my door...LOL.
Well, if they do, just greet him kindly, maybe even with a smile... and take a seat. It'll be over before you know it. Seems a shame to ME for folks to get SO dressed up... for only about an hour's worthy of "observation", but other than the DC's it really is the only time the wimmn can break out their jewels (and for the older ones, furs - yes, furs!)... and not look SO ostentatious. SO. They do like to flit around, though. It's pretty funny to me...
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"Children want to be loved and not lied to just because adults are too weak to tell them the truth."
Now, ain't THAT the truth! I have never understood a parent who lies to their child. I just don't get it. You're the parent. A simple, "I don't have to tell you," or "I'm not telling you" or "You don't need to know"... ANYTHING other than lying... is the way to go.
Ennywho...
Peace... and if you don't mind my asking... where abouts are you? You can PM that, if you like, if you don't want to say here (and I totally understand. I totally understand if you don't like and don't wanna say - no worries). It's just that I often wonder if you're close enough to visit...
Take care, enjoy your evening (as best you can) and may JAH bless!
Your servant and a slave of Christ,
Shellamar