xjwsforChrist

Never has my love for my daughters been put so nicely into words....please read:

http://thecripplegate.com/an-open-lette ... map=%5B%5D


Dear L.Y.,

In a box somewhere in the garage there is footage of the two of us. Although it’s lost in storage, it streams in my memory. I am holding you. You fit neatly in my two hands. My heart fits perfectly around your little finger – small as it was. It is a long time ago. It is the embodiment of that worn out metaphor we reach for to describe fathers and daughters. “Tied around fingers” or something like that. Clearly, I am entwined. I’ve always been. Quietly, I bend down and whisper something to you. It’s hard to make out what I’m saying on this fuzzy old tape. But, I know exactly what I said. I’ve been saying it for fourteen years. You have heard me say it in word and deed every day since. “You will always be this child here in my hands. I will never leave you nor forsake you. I love you.” It is fourteen years ago, but it is easily today.

One day, if God wills, you will know how deeply a parent loves a child. It is the bottomless vein in a parent’s heart. But, you will never know how intensely a father loves a daughter. It’s hard to put into words. It is a mixture of strength and softness unique to this bond. A father’s love hovers like a citadel over the untouched treasure of his daughter’s life. (This is why your dad acts like a suspicious sniper around you.) A daughter thrives within its safe barrier. A father’s love for his daughter is a preservative against a thousand ills seeking to infect the innocence of her life.

Is it any wonder ladies are reduced to tears as they look back on the landscape of their life and cannot see a father’s sweetness? It is a deep regret… and needless. Girls need dads. Neglect here is cruel. The worst thing a dad can do sometimes is nothing. It seems I counsel the ubiquitous broken young lady on a weekly basis. She is the lost young woman who seeks self-worth in the affection of a young man – never having received it from dad. Hers is a deep pain. Tenderness is a sublime power in a father’s hand. It is amazing what time spent showing love at eight does for a little girl when she is twenty-eight. It builds a confidence as few things can. It is a foundation set deep in the heart.

You do not fully realize it now, but one day in the midst of life’s many hardships you’ll see what I’ve been doing all these years. You’ll see what I whispered to you many years ago. In the darkness of your pain, you’ll reach down and suddenly feel a foundation beneath you. I know you love me. I know you respect me more than any other man on this earth. But, I have not been turning your heart to me all these years, as much as to My God. My leadership of your life is intended to provide you the slightest glimpse of His awesome power over all things, including you. I know My God will steady you.

When the time comes you will sense a steadfastness you had not sensed before. There in that moment, His love will be my greatest gift to you. A vision of a mighty God, which I have painstakingly opened to you conversation by conversation & tenderness by tenderness, will come up and catch you. My own love, incomplete and imperfect, will now make sense in the infinite shadow of His. You will bend down quietly before your life and say, “Thank you, Daddy. God is Great. He has neither left me nor forsaken me.” Your earthly father will be content in being overshadowed by your Heavenly one. You are not mine. You are His. I will rejoice from within the cleft of His greatness as I watch my daughter worship from knees I once put Band-Aids on.

I pray that my care for you brings into sharp focus the love of Our Savior. Unconditional. Sacrificial. Patient. True. Serving. Consistent. Present. I pray my sincere affection is a contrast to the many deceptions that parade as love in this world. I pray the sight of your father in broken worship of Christ gives you the courage to raise your own heart up in praise before mankind. I pray my transparent confession of sin and weakness will incline you to retreat into Christ’s righteousness at the sight of your own. I pray most earnestly that you will have not merely copied your father’s faith, but sincerely found the Lord Jesus Christ as the supreme object of your own.

Dear child, do not settle. Love a man who loves Christ more than you – and you more than himself. Be attracted to tenderness, lowliness, self-restraint, consistency and sacrifice. Seek that man who carries the imprint of our Lord’s cross upon his life. Love that man who does not live in fear of your emotions, but in fear of your Lord. Don’t marry a boy… no matter how old he may be. Do not fall for the first young man who comes along and shows you attention. Rather, follow that man whom comes along and resembles the unconditional grace of your Lord Jesus.

I am so sorry about the condition of the average young male. I regret that they confuse lust with love. I am saddened that they are more proficient at gaming than at balancing a checkbook. I cringe that they know more of sports trivia than doctrine. I apologize that they know better how to handle a gun (which is completely respectable in one sense) than how to treat a lady. I know godliness in a man is hard to find. But, find it. Otherwise, you will spend your life raising the man you thought you married. The church and this culture are filled with boys masquerading as men. Let them pass.

The man you are looking for is no boy. He is a servant. He cares for your needs above his own. If I am at all the man I claim to be, you may look at your father’s love for your mother and know what it is I’m describing. You should be able to recognize it when you see it. That man who will lay down his life for yours is the type of man you can easily give yours to. The man who sacrifices himself is easy to serve sacrificially.

By God’s grace, I have only intended my own love to serve as a high-water mark in your soul. None except Christ’s love for you will rise above mine. This way, when that man – whom I pray for everyday – comes along and exceeds your father’s love, you will willingly give him your heart. And I (secretly desiring to shoot him and bury his remains in an undisclosed location) will lovingly pass on my treasure to that man who stormed the fortress of a father’s love with a weapon as meager as a servant’s apron.

Your Dad

1 Corinthians 2:2

Wow. GREAT letter from a father to daughter, dear P (mornin' and peace to you!). Wonder if there's a mother (or father) to son version out there, 'cause they need this kind of "love," too! Hopefully, though, the men and women they choose who "love" Christ... DO love Christ. I don't say that to be negative but I was quite thrown when I found out how many JWs only pretended to love "Jehovah" and Christ... because their parents kinda forced them to (or so they felt). Then, as soon as they could get away (even by means of marriage), not only left father and mother... but God and Christ. Or as soon as life didn't go the way they wanted it to... blamed God... and then convinced themselves He never existed to begin with (because, of course, if God DID exist... well, their lives would have been perfect. No matter their choices... or their parent(s)' choices)...

A favor, please? We live in much different times, now. Please... tell YOUR dear daughters to take their time. Tell them there is NO rush to "find a man." Tell them to ignore society's LIE... that a woman has no value unless she is joined to some man. They absolutely have value based on (1) Christ's love (2) YOUR love; and (3) SELF love. So many lack number 2 and so lack number 3... and so think marriage (and having kids) will "fix" that, along with their other problems... only to find out later that they have even more problems!

Tell them to take the time to get to know THEMSELVES... so that they can BETTER know the "kind" of man that is BEST for them... and then to get to know that man. Because if they don't know themselves, they won't know what they TRULY want... and so many think they can "change" a partner (to BE what they want him/her to be) later. And if they don't know HIM... then they WILL think they can "change" him into being what they want him to be. Maybe... but can take years, if not decades, if it can happen at all. Better to find ones who already HAVE the "qualities" they're looking for... which qualities they will know, if they already know themselves.

Tell them that it would be nice, yes, if they only had to "date" one man... but that MIGHT not be the case any more... but that it's okay - just don't get "slutty" about it (I know you can find another way to say that, though - LOLOL!). But that they DON'T have to live with a man first so as to know whether a marriage will work out (it might, it might not, regardless of whether they live together first or not)... but also getting to know HIS family... and how they treat HIM... can be a good indicator (if they treat him well, but not TOO well such that he thinks he's an infallible "god", in which case, he's gonna want HER to "worship" him... but not too bad, such that he has no self esteem or self love and might possibly take it out on her!).

Oh, and tell her to ONLY have kids if she ALSO wants them... 'cause that could be a problem down the line, too! LOLOL!

GREAT letter, though... and great dad for writing it for his daughter! Thank you for sharing it with us!

Peace... to you, your dear little girls, and your entire household!

YSSFS of Christ,

Shellamar

I don't think there is any doubt for how you love your daughters, Paul. Thanks for some insight into this love.

I thought the end of that letter was cute, though as usual I skipped to the end before I read the whole thing, and so originally thought, 'he secretly wants to shoot and bury Christ in an undisclosed location?' Took the second read-through to see that he was talking about a future son-in-law ; )


Peace,
tammy

I hear you Shel,
I am raising my girls to be strong, independent and loving.
To have a sense of self-wroth and self-respect.
To understand that love is a lifetime commitment, to understand that they deserve to be loved and respected and treated well, just as THEY love, respect and treat others well.
I am trying to make them understand that the right man is the icing on the cake, but they THEY are the cake, that they must love themselves and be true to themselves and be happy in themselves and that no one can do that for them.
The right person is what is the "cherry on top", the finishing touch if you will.
I try to lead by example for them on how I love them and how I love Lisa.
I tell them to look to Christ and how HE loved.
It's hard because, as we know, in the end they will do what they want to and all we can do is be there for them.
That said, I never ever want them to doubt how much I love them, how deserving they are of that love.

I hear all that you're saying, dear P (again, peace to you!). I remember once hearing where someone said/wrote: "BE the man/woman you want your daughter/son to marry." Of course, that might make the pickin's "slim"... but we DO want them to end up with the creme de la creme of spouses, yes? And while that doesn't always equate to money (well, it shouldn't), it SHOULD equate to a quality person at the least.

So, GOOD job, dad/husband you are! LOLOL!

Peace!

YSSFS of Christ,

Shellamar

Tammy, to your comment!

Paul, yes it was a beautiful letter, thank you!

Although I have three sons, I feel the same way as a moms version of this.

Then there comes a time when for the most part you turn them over to our Lord so he can " finish their training" as they belong to him now.

Were always there, but out parenting changes from " the parent" to hopefully " best friends".

And by our continued PRAYERS, LOVE and EXAMPLE, they will grow in their love towards Jah and CHRIST and the decisions they make in their lives will always reflect them and their will.


Thank you again for sharing this,
Love to you, your wife and your daughters
Justmom

Truer words I could not imagine, having recently "been there myself" (my son-I-L is a good young man, thank you Lord!). Enjoy a related song, while I wipe a tear or three...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uo0ay--8KUE
"Today I became his wife, But I'll be your baby girl--for life!"

Whoa... dear GL (peace, dear one!)... you got FEELIN'S, man! Who'da thunk it??!! LOLOLOL! No, seriously, dear one, it's our privilege to "know" men like you, dear P (peace, luv!)... and you other dads, here! LOVELY song! Thanks for sharing it!

Again, peace to you... dear daughter and SIL... and your entire household!

Your servant and a slave of Christ,

Shellamar

WOW, GL!!!!

I don't have daughters and dang I stilled cried, LOL!

Thank you for that, glad your daughter found a good man.

Love Justmom.