xjwsforChrist

Hello XJWsForChrist, many of you may have been wondering what has been "up with me" lately. I have been very aggressive and my fuse has been growing increasingly short. I want to write this post to provide perspective on my life so that you can understand why, at times, I have been acting so strangely.

I have a little brother, lets call him Brian. We were very close growing up because both of us were abused by our alcoholic parents. Even though we often fought like cats and dogs we stood by each other when things got tough. My JW family were ALL born-ins and were all extremely naive people. There was a cousin of ours that had been sexually molested by her father and like good little JW's they kept that information to themselves. My mother made the poor choice of allowing this 12 year old girl to baby sit my little brother and I when she was away. I was 6 and my little brother was 3 when we were molested. One day my mother picked up on a vibe with me and realized what was happening. She then stopped the babysitting, but not until after both of us were seriously mentally damaged by the experience. Throughout my life I tried to bring up the issue, but I was told to keep quiet. My mother explained that the problem had been solved by the stopping of the babysitting. She didn't want to believe that there were any lasting effects, she couldn't have been more wrong.

My little brother SWIFTLY got disfellowshipped early in his adult life for sexuality. We were never given any therapy as JW's typically frowned on that type of thing. We were not given any help from the elders as well because it was kept quiet and under the rug. Even though I was a JW when he was disfellowshipped I decided I was not going to shun him, it just seemed to harsh. The rest of the family, however, looked at it differently. They believed that the only way he could be saved was to shun him. They even counseled me for associating with him and told me that I was actually hurting him by giving him my support. All of this sowed the seeds in me that eventually lead to my leaving the religion entirely.

When I left my little brother was still DF'ed. I spent a good deal of time with him talking about the religion's inconsistencies and false doctrines. I got him awake about the 607/586 Watchtower blunder. The deprogamming was going steady until he decided to give into family pressure. He missed them dearly and knew that the only way he could get them back was to get reinstated into the organization. I begged him not to do it, but he did anyway.

Once he was reinstated the family immediately started alienating him from his support group. All of the sudden I was put at arms length and I could no longer speak with him about topics critical of the organization. He just deleted everything we had spoken of and swallowed the JW doctrine again. I suspected this was all because of his need to be with the family again.

I started to panic because I was witnessing my brother be lured away from not only me, but everybody in his life that wasn't a JW. All of the close friends he had made were being treated like chop liver in favor of his highly dysfunctional JW family. All of us were devastated by his choices. My family was convincing my little brother that the only way that he could "get me back" was to shun me. It was a very slow, fine tuned process.

One day he was over at my house and I confronted him about the family's attempts to turn him against me. I told him that I was frightened that our relationship was in jeopardy. He burst into tears before me and told me that their words just bounced off him and that he would never let them come between us.

Every time I would try to bring up the topics he had been receptive to in the past he would become very angry. He would say that he didn't want to associate with me if I was going to bring them up. I was watching my brother be mind controlled right in front of me and there was next to nothing I could do about it. Then my family turned up the heat even more.

The sister of the girl who molested us offered him a place to stay rent-free. They lived 5 hours away in a small town of about 6,000 people. He accepted and moved away from his entire life that he had built up for himself. All of the people he deeply cared for he put aside and moved in with two JW family members 5 hours away. The sister of the cousin pulled a few strings in their congregation and got him a decent paying job. Before he left he told me that our relationship was not going to end. He told me that he was going there to get a breather and write an album as he is a wonderful musician.

Once he got there he stopped returning my phone calls and internet messages, it was as if he had dropped off the face of the planet. Finally I was able to set up a Skype meeting with him, but that was broken up by our cousin's husband in the middle of it. The job they had lined up for him was running a chain saw for 10 hours a day which destroyed his hands. He could no longer play guitar and therefore his album idea went out the window. Finally, he deleted his Facebook account and his email which effectively severed our final means of communication.

I have learned through all this that there are fates worse than death. The grieving process happens naturally when someone literally dies, but when a cult steals the life out of you it's worse than death. All of your loved one's watch in horror and can do nothing about it. What's so sad about all of this is that the reason why he's so susceptible to mind control is because of his past trauma which was compounded by the family's cover up of our sexual abuse. They abused him and now they were using that abuse to create a drone who will do their bidding.

I can walk away from this fiasco knowing that I tried my best. It's gut wrenching to lose a loved one to a mind control cult. I can only hope that one day there will be no more cults and that mind control will be against the law. I will never stop fighting, I will never stop learning and I will never stop trying. Until my very last breath I will fight this cult until it is gone, mark my words.

-Sab

((((((SAB)))))) I am so sorry to hear about your brother and the awful things that occurred in your family which were covered up because of the evil WT society. I don't blame you one bit for being upset and fighting back against all things cultish and hypocritical.

My sincere condolences for what both you and your dear brother were subjected to, then... and are undergoing now, dear Sab (peace to you!). Pain... is pain.

If one is born into a close, loving family, that is a wonderful thing. But that is not the lot of all mankind. Some of us are born into situations where our enemies are "members of [our] own households." We were warned of this, yes? Not that that makes it desirable, but knowing what is possible can sometimes help us understand some of the "whys" of this world... and deal with their reality. Which is why Christ warned us; so that we COULD cope, along with call on him for strength where we need it.

Your anger and mistrust of/confusion as to people as a result is very understandable - how can you trust strangers (per se) when you can't even trust those you're supposed to be able to? It isn't SUPPOSED to be that way, right? The thing is, though, dear one... at some point MATURITY should lead to tho realize that not all family are friends... and not all strangers are enemies.

We here, although perhaps differing in beliefs, outlook, and perspective... are not your enemies. Doesn't mean you must consider us friends (you choose who is a friend)... but we truly aren't your enemies. No one here is "against" you. Technically, or literally. And Christ said that "He that is not AGAINST you is FOR you."

Praise JAH, it does not work the opposite, as the world thinks (i.e., "He that is not for you is against you" - no, that is not necessarily true!).

You ARE among friends, here, IMHO... and no one expects you to leave off your beliefs simply because they don't agree with them. If you wish to DISCUSS them, along with discussing others, by all means, do so. But doing so without viewing those you're discussing with as enemies might go far toward your having refreshing, if not enlightening, discussion... rather than exacerbating the stress you are already experiencing for other reasons NOT related to the board.

Again, I am very sorry that you are experiencing what you are and have what you have, you and your dear brother. I would offer that I know One who can help you carry those burdens. You have to exchange your load for his, though. Something to consider.

Peace to you, truly!

YOUR servant and a slave of Christ,

Shellama

Dear Sab,

I am so sad for you and your brother, for the loss of that close family which should be there for us all but so sadly nowadays is not for many.

It's compounded by the wicked, cruel mind-control techniques of this horrible organisation, which turns truth on its head, and family members against each other, all backed up by cleverly-chosen and wickedly twisted and misapplied quotations from the Bible. The Watchtower might well have used Orwell's 1984 as a mind-control tuition manual.

I've seen the effects of disfellowshipping on local families. I even experienced the coercion to shun too, when the disfellowshipped brother greeted me in his usual friendly way and I was told I ought not to have responded, even though I wasn't baptised.

Such a very sad story, Sab. And that girl, only twelve...all covered up and therefore no therapy for that child either.

I'm very sad for you.

Sab Sab.....

I am SO truly sorry for your pain right now. I am so sorry that when you felt you could finally be there for your brother, our adversary used that organization AGAIN to take him away.

I am so sorry at what happened to you both as children. It is evil what that organization of " wolves" will continually to this day allow.

As a mother of children your age, my oldest of three sons now 28, went through sexual abuse by a young girl whose mother I pioneered with and who I often let the daughter who was 12 at the time babysit my son as well. She in time came to babysit ALL three of my sons from time to time.
6 or 7 years went by before my oldest could come to me. He was now 13 at this time and she 20.

It was hell for our family but the crazy faithful JW I was went to the elders and her father was one of them, met and met and of course the same thing that happened to you, the hand was slapped because there was no proof ( the two witnesses) it was swept under the rug, not reported and my husband and I were told to wait on Jehovah and if we discussed it and it came out in the congregation, WE could be disfellowshipped for slandering our sister.
Our option was to change congregations, which we did, but it was the sister hall, LOL ridiculous...
Just different meeting times, same building. Go figure, still crossed her and could not say a word.
The worst was she lived around the corner and we had to drive by their house almost daily.

No Sab can you believe it??? That was not enough to wake me up to the truth.
I am ashamed at how loyal I was to that organization.
It was because I believed with all my heart it was Jehovah's organization working though imperfect people. So just.....WAIT! He will clean it out!!!!!

Sab it was one of the major things I heard from my lords voice directly when I did finally eventually a year later leave. " He told me to GET OUT!" They do not belong to me! That is why I said " Get out of her, MY PEOPLE." That " His" people, " His " sheep would not be part of a harlot. He told me he does not FIX what does not belong to Him. They are wicked impostors and unclean in spirit. False Christs that had misled me.

That is why I must follow Him and only Him. The things that have happened to you and many of us are bound to happen in religion that claims to be the truth or true church. It is a place we think to be safe. It is a place we believe god dwells. It is a place we trust others. It is a perfect place for those that are abusers to prey on innocent children and sheep.

I again am so so sorry. Thank you for being able to talk about it. My son is doing much better now, when he allowed himself to get some help, it did help later on. But he has spent up until recently dealing with his anger in not such a positive light. But I see progress, baby steps. And he loves me and says he doesn't blame me anymore which he did for years. It devastated me beyond words, but I had to come to understand how he viewed it. It made it easier for me to know that even though it wasn't my fault, he needed me to blame for his pain. He was young then. Still is....but he is starting to understand how he can be used as a survivor to help those that may not want to be. To make that difference for someone that might want to take their own life through this experience.

Hope we can comfort you in any way. We are here for you, my brother.
Never never give up on your brother. I'm sure you won't, and I know he is or will be grateful for that in you!

Love to you always
Justmom

Sab,

I also wanted to say to you that I certainly hadn't noticed you being aggressive at all. You are always most reasonable.

Don't like to hear you've been sad Sab. Grieving for those living and ensnared by a cult is devastating, I agree. Sending you cyber hugs.

Loz x

_________________
"This is my son. LISTEN to Him!"

Thank you for the kind replies. God has been helping me through this tough time. He shows me that with ALL bad eventually good follows, even though sometimes we have to wait some time for it. Even though unimaginably painful, this experience has given me a first hand look at Watchtower mind control. I watched, albeit to my own horror, as my family played all the cards that Steven Hassan said they would. Each person in the family worked as a "node" of sorts that resulted in the brainwashing of my beloved little brother. It was a organized group effort and I can go down the line and explain the actions near perfectly of each family member. Because of what I experienced and continue to I will be able to help others in a unique way throughout my life. With destruction there is always creation not far off. Blessed be the grace of God.

There is a psychological concept called "parentification." Because my parents simply were not up to snuff I had to take a leadership role in my family growing up. I was never really given the chance to be a kid. Because of this I tend to see my little brother as a type of son. Therefore, the parable of the Prodigal Son applies to our relationship and our circumstance. He has taken his inheritance and is squandering it in a mind control cult. I pray that he wakes up from the delusion and when he does, I will be waiting for him with open arms (Luke 15:11-32).



Yes, Char, that is a very important point. One of the ghastly things about the Watchtower is that when you are sexually abused it is almost always followed by spiritual (like Justmom's experience above). When someone is sexually abused their libido is forever altered until they get medical/psychological help. The Watchtower doesn't acknowledge this science and when abuse victims engage in sexuality repeatedly they are disfellowshipped. This is what happened to that little girl when she became a teenager, and it deeply saddens me. They misuse 1 Cor 5 which says that they're handed over to Satan. The girl once told me that when she was DF'ed (now reinstated) she would be terrified each time there was a thunderstorm. Because she believed she had been handed over to Satan and would perish in the coming Armageddon which she believed could be happening with each thunder strike.

This cult, and cults in general, HAS to go. The problem is that no one knows the true extent of what is happening behind those windowless kingdom halls. The Watchtower are experts at managing their image to the public. Slowly, but surely the public is becoming aware. Each day that passes this cult is destroying people's lives. TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE.

-Sab

This cult, and cults in general, HAS to go.

Sadly, most of those in them are "loving" the experience, dear one (peace to you!). Including God's people who are (still) in them. Religion, in general, actually.

Too bad... too bad...

Again, peace to you!

A slave of Christ,

Shellama... who is glad to see that YOU can recognize and are able to be honest about yourself... even if no one else can/is, because it IS very important for one to know oneself... the good AND the bad. Else, how can one know what to be TRULY thankful for... or, alternatively, to ask forgiveness FOR... Luke 18:9-14

Sab, have you told your story to Cedars? I know he takes a particular interest in the WT and child abuse and is highly motivated and working with others to bring it to the public notice.

For those who don't know, Cedars is the chap behind http//www.jwsurvey.org , and a good guy.

(Tammy, I can't seem to turn that into a hyperlink...the URL facility doesn't seem to be functioning. Are you able to help?)

I see he is currently highlighting the new anti-abuse site he and others have created: http://aawa.co/

I promise you dear Sab, many do see what is going on more than you might realize and they still choose to stay because of that dreadful cloud of being disfellowshipped or losing all your loved ones. It is the best evil tactic and it works.

But be assured, Jah has and continues to see ALL that goes on in the dark ('behind those windowless walls). But he promises to solve this issue, but remember he not slow...but patient for all to " wake up" to repentance . He does not want ANY to be destroyed. Vengeance belongs to Him my brother and not to US. Remember we are told to " Stand still and see the salvation of Jah."

Thank you for being able to talk about it. Our Lord and CHRIST and His father Jah WILL heal you!

Love to you
Justmom.

I have thought about coming totally out with this much like Bo Jensen did. He went to local news sources and told his extremely rough story. It's a very scary prospect, but "the fear of man will prove to be a snare!"

-Sab

Yes, I read about Bo Jensen. I have great admiration for his boldness and honesty.

But I don't think you, or anyone, should feel obliged to do likewise, and no-one should feel less worthy if they feel very unnerved at the thought of doing the same. No-one should put you under pressure to do so, and no-one should feel under pressure within themselves.

Be kind to yourself, Sab. Wait a while until you're sure. Telling your story here must have helped you to see it clearly, but don't do anything more unless and until you're absolutely sure.

When I suggested you might contact Cedars, I wasn't thinking of coming out in public. I meant just Cedars, at least in the first instance. Cedars is one of the good guys.

If you should ever come out in public, I'd support you all the way in whatever way I could. Equally, I'd support you just the same if you felt you couldn't. You're one of the good guys too.

Sab,
Sorry to hear of your experience. It's very, very different from mine, so I can only imagine the hurt. I've never experienced it myself. But, you do have friends here that will, at the very least, listen.


I would advise against it. Seriously... life is way too short. Let God handle this matter.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil; consider what is good before all people. If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all people. Do not avenge yourselves, dear friends, but give place to God’s wrath, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. - Rom 12:17-19 NET

-LQ

This isn't about vengeance it's about human rights specifically those of children. With all due respect "Leaving it God's hands" is a cop out that enables the dysfunctional environment.



^ God uses PEOPLE to enact justice.

-Sab