|
TEC SAID
HTBO, thanks for sharing all of that. I got offered bible studies too, which I turned down. I got offered placement of magazines, which I also politely refused.
Okay... so last night I was feeling down after the meeting, and I did not share very much. But this is how my night went.
I did not dress up. I wore a nice shirt, and a favorite cardigan sweater that covers my butt, and jeans. I did not do it to be disrespectful. I wore what I always wear because Christ and God do not care what you wear. They care about the INSIDE. So I stood out like a sore thumb right from the get-go. I am sure that those who saw me and did not know me, thought I was some poor lost soul.
Then I saw my former study conductor, who just happened to be in town this year, and also many others who remembered me from before came over and greeted me. I assume they thought I was returning, though I turned down the offers of bible studies and magazines. I did not give reasons why, I just said no thank you, I do not need them.
My friend sat next to me when everything started. The hall was packed... it was at a hotel convention center. There were three congregations there. I did not sing the songs, or amen their prayers. I just stood quietly.
I was nervous also. Not about partaking. There was no chance I would pass Him by. But I nervous that I would not say the right words when/if someone asked me about why I partook. If they had all been strangers, it would have been easier, I think. But they were not.
I did not pull out my bible for all the readings, though I had brought it. I did not need it to know what the verses being read actually say. My friend had forgotten her reading glasses, and I leaned over and offered to help her find the passages, saying 'Maybe I can help you see.' Funny thing, I had not even realized I'd said those words, until she repeated them back to me with a little laugh. Surprised me too.
I was also saddened by the great emphasis placed against partaking. The talk was not like that 4 years ago. The only thing that caught my attention 4 years ago was the emphasis on 11 apostles, rather than the 12. One thing that caught my attention was one of the things used to get people to doubt that they could possibly have the right to partake. The speaker said that those who partake are as sure of their 'heavenly hope' as they are of their own name. So if you did not have that surety (and how could anyone in that hall have that surety while being inundated by how it is not for them?), then it was not for you. Then there was also the damage control about how people in the world have different occupations and duties, so that even if someone DOES partake, that does not mean the rest of them should.
The speaker even asked, just before sending out the plates, who had the heavenly hope. For a moment, I thought he was asking for a show of hands, but he quickly moved on to his next point. That was eyebrow raising
I was sitting at the end of the aisle, and I can relate to what Voices said about how quick the attendant reached to take the plate, though I did not pass it to him until I took some of the bread. My friend moved as if to correct me and stopped herself (like a mom correcting a child who did not know better). I looked over at her after, and she whispered that she would talk with me later. So I knew she thought that I must have forgotten the 'rules' (though the talk beforehand made them pretty clear). I just said quietly, "I know."
Bit of surprise at that, then the wine came around as well. I noticed that they pass the bread and wine so fast... almost like its a game of hot potato.
Then the memorial ended, and she sat with me a bit, asking about what had changed. Earlier she had invited me for coffee with some others, and she asked me if I had called my husband yet about going, but seemed uncomfortable. I asked her if she still wanted me to go, and she said yes... but I assured her I would not be offended, that she and I could get together on our own if she liked that better. So she took my number and e-mail. (This is the part I felt bad about last night... I think I should have gone)
I did tell her while we sat and talked that I came there because I had said no the first time I went to the memorial with her, when I should have said yes. I said that there is one hope, and that Christ is calling everyone to have life in Him, that I came as a witness to that. I told her that I was sorry that I had upset her. (not that i had partaken) She said, oh no, I am not the judge, it isn't for me to say anything... I am just surprised. But that she did want to get together and talk, and I said I would also like that.
Then we hugged and I left.
So that was my evening. I am glad to have gone. I am so glad actually... especially with the emphasis on telling people that they are NOT of the hope to be with Christ, or part of the new covenant (which is what the blood/wine represents). Most of those who saw me partake know that I did not do it by accident. So despite my own sadness in not giving further witness at coffee, I was greatly refreshed by all of you when I read of your accounts, and the courage and love that you showed by going.
Much peace and love to you all, in Christ, and thank you for refreshing and strengthening me!
Your servant, and sister, and fellow slave of Christ,
tammy
|
Login
Register
FAQ
Search
