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AGUEST SAID
Well, I have learned that I'm not "crazy," dear FC (the greatest of love and peace to you!), contrary to what some might wish to think (LOL!)... but just "faithful." I do not say that to blow my own horn, but just as a matter of truth. For YEARS I thought something was "wrong" with me because I wasn't "like" most everyone else, and because of what I would "hear". When my Lord finally appeared and explained it to me... well, it was like finally coming to life (pun intended)!
In coming to this knowledge, I also learned that while I am somewhat "booksmart"... I am not wise, at all, not by any stretch... but actually very foolish... and that I really don't "know" anything... but what I do know I have been given. This is very humbling, actually, because we live in a world and time where personal knowledge... "expertise"... is considered a virtue. That makes sense, in this world, true. But when dealing with the spirit realm... which is far, far vaster than this one... it is vanity and folly.
I have also learned that while I THOUGHT I knew love, joy, peace, faith, kindness, mildness, goodness, long-suffering, and self-control... I actually had NO knowledge of these, not even a "mustard seed"... and so had to learn them. And that even in learning them... I take 3 steps forward... and one step back. Always. So that my progress is slow, MUCH slower than I ever imagined. Because although I have a "perfect" set of prints to follow, I KNOW I will NEVER follow in his steps perfectly. I simply cannot do it. MY best is to just try to stay on the road (where I've seen that although HIS steps are straight down the middle, with NO deviation), the steps of others, including mine... are all over the place. Sometimes all the way to the edge, either to the left or right! Sometimes even walking along those edges for some time... but always turning in and TRYING to get back to the middle (most often, they veer through the middle and meander to the OTHER edge - LOL!).
But... I keep pressing forward. And part of that includes stopping to take a "rest" from time to time, then running to catch up. I am not made of what HE is now and so MY flesh tends to "give out" from time to time. Thankfully, he IS perfect in "long-suffering" and sometimes waits for me, even comes back to "get" me. Which is understandable as that's what a FINE shepherd would do, right - go and look for a lost sheep, so as not to lose even one?
I think one of the most IMPORTANT things I learned, though, from my Lord a LONG time ago was that his words, "With the SAME judgment that you judge others you WILL be judged (notice, WILL be judged, not MAY be judged)... are TRUE. I learned that every thing that I ever judged another for not only showed me to be a hypocrite but also came back to smack me in my own face... sooner or later. And hurt when it did! And so, I try NOT to judge others... as to anything and/or on ANY level... because of this. This, IMHO, was a PROMISE, as well as a warning... and one many take way too lightly. Thus, now, I just look at it as "to their own master they will stand... or fall." It is not MY concern what others do, don't do, how they do it, don't it, IF they do it, don't do it, etc.
As a result of all of these lessons, I've learned to live MY life... not in comparison to anyone else's... on any level or as to anything... except Christ. I don't look at others homes, or dress, or car, or job, or way of doing things... in comparison to mine or what I'm doing. Because no one else can save me, no one else can guide me through this "darkness"... and I don't really need anyone else's "approval", not really... except Christ. And by looking at HIM... I get plenty "approval" from others. Sometimes more than I can handle/am comfortable with... because, again, it isn't really ME, but HIM.
I am sure there are many other things that I've learned... but these seem the most important to me, right now.
Again, peace to you!
YOUR servant, sister, and fellow slave of Christ,
SA
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