xjwsforChrist

ANTHONY SAID

I hope this is a safe forum to share some personal things. I was looking back and found this letter that I sent to every member of my congregation days before I was disfellowshipped in 2006. While every detail of this letter is not in accord with my present beliefs, it is truthful to where I was at that time in my life. Names are redacted.

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Dear W.R. Congregation,

It is with great sadness that I write you this letter. You may have noticed over the course of the last two months that I have been missing from some of the meetings and that I have not been able to share in commenting. Many of you have lovingly inquired if anything was the matter. Unfortunately we weren't able to be completely open with you as to what was going on. Now that the matter has been resolved I would like to take this opportunity to address your concerns.

The other day as I was going over the memorial Bible reading I thought quite a bit about Jesus’ last night with his friends. He had spent 3 ½ years with them attempting to teach them many important things. On that last night when time was ticking away what was interesting was what he chose to focus on, namely love, selflessness, enduring under tribulation, and prayer. It is with a similar outlook that I’m writing this letter as I’m to be killed in a spiritual sense is just a few days and would be remiss if I didn’t give you some parting words of love and encouragement.

Regrettably, I have been disfellowshipped from the Organization on the grounds of apostasy, and it will soon be formally announced to the congregation that I am "no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses". I completely reject this false charge and I appealed the decision of the Body of Elders. Unfortunately, my appeal was to no avail and therefore I am left with no other option at this time but to wait for Jehovah to straighten this out in His own due time.

I still feel in my heart that I am one Jehovah's Witnesses and I'm quite confident that our Heavenly Father still accepts me as such although from the standpoint of the Organization I am not. I have been reading the Psalms lately and they have been really encouraging in this regard. One in particular that warms my heart is Psalm 27:10 that reads, "In case my own father and my own mother did leave me, even Jehovah would take me up."

I know that what I am going through, though hard, is agreeable to my Heavenly Father, as the scriptures say, "For if someone, because of conscience toward God, bears up under grievous things and suffers unjustly, this is an agreeable thing. For what merit is there in it if, when you are sinning and being slapped you endure it? But if, when you are doing good and you suffer, you endure it, this is agreeable with God." - 1 Peter 2:19, 20

I wanted to write you this letter to let you, the Congregation of W.R., know that I have thoroughly enjoyed this last year growing in love and faith with you. I spent the greater portion of my life in this congregation and yet painfully before last year I never took the time to really be a part of it. I cherish each conversation and the mutual affection that we have shared – this "interchange of encourage" has done much to build my faith and I hope it has built yours. (Romans 1:11,12) Despite all my difficulties lately I would not exchange one day of this past year for relief from my situation.

In particular, with quite a few of you, I've grown extremely close and my only worry throughout all this mess is how I may hurt you by being disfellowshipped, and slanderously labeled as an apostate. Please do not see this as a betrayal to you. My love for you was always sincere and I have meant every word that I spoke in your presence, from the stage, in comment, in prayer, and in our conversations. I know for the foreseeable future we will be apart – and that is painful – but I look forward to the day when we can reunited again; if not in this world, in the world to come – the new heavens and earth that we are awaiting according to a promise. (2 Peter 3:13)

I wanted nothing more than to continue in your midst longer - to continue to grow in widening out my tender affection for all of you. (2 Cor 6:13) I had hoped that I could be a support to you right down to the very end. Now that this is not possible, I only hope that in memory I could continue to help you in perhaps some small way.

I know that you have noticed a change in me, from what I was, to what I became to you. Quite a few of you have expressed positive thoughts toward this change. I could only direct all praise to Jehovah. Last year our Father was gracious enough to give me an anointing, though I didn't deserve it all. It is an undeserved kindness on His part to allow me a small measure of His Holy spirit that was able to transform me and turn my life around. My brothers and sisters I can attest to the power and the reality of the Holy spirit. If you are having difficulties in any area please pray for the spirit and believe that it can help you. Our Father will give it to you just as it written, "Therefore if you, although being wicked know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more so will the Father in heaven give Holy spirit to those asking him!" – Luke 11:13

Additionally I would encourage you to make it a habit to read your Bible daily. God's Word is such an absolute treasure and if you read it to come to know Him it will open your eyes and your heart. As the Psalm says, “Your word is a lamp to my foot, and a light to my roadway.” (Psalm 119:105) And speaking of the Psalms, we are just getting ready to go through them in our weekly Bible reading and it will be such an excellent time to really dig deep. The Psalms are full of such beauty, affection and understanding. What a treat it will be to listen to the friends offer up praise to Jehovah during the answer portion of the Bible Highlights in the weeks to come!

Please use every opportunity possible to speak of Jehovah's goodness to one another. The one thing I regret is how in our gatherings outside the meetings how little is said regarding our God. Additionally, it is painful that once the meeting ends, we are quick to begin talking about the mundane things of life. I've been guilty of this too but I think that if we would try to make an effort to speak of good things, then that small seed might blossom into something truly beautiful in the Wood River Hall. I know you appreciate what Jehovah and Christ Jesus have done for us – please don't hesitate to talk about it and “to offer to God a sacrifice of praise, that is, the fruit of lips which make public declaration to his name.” (Hebrews 13:15) The world beats us down so much that we could all use a little lift.

Friends please take time to show interest in the older ones at our hall. They are so lonely. Some even think that they might be abandoned during the Great Tribulation just as they feel abandoned by the congregation now. I know you love them and don't feel this way. Please let them know how much you love them and value them. Include them in your activities and meals. I want to see hugs and kisses and cheerful faces. Remember that James characterizes true worship by our willingness to "look after orphans and widows in their tribulation" – James 1:27

Support the body of elders in what is good as they are shouldering a heaven burden. (1 Timothy 5:17) No doubt you have been pained to lose so many good men recently such as Brother S, Brother D, and Brother H. This loss continues to be felt in our hall. It would be a shame to suffer even more - so be supportive wherever possible.

And since the elders are so loaded down please look for ways to minimize their weight by helping one another. Continue to grow in love for the congregation. In the spirit of 1 Peter 3:8,9 "Finally, all of you be like-minded, showing fellow feeling, having brotherly affection, tenderly compassionate, humble in mind, not paying back injury for injury or reviling for reviling, but, to the contrary, bestowing a blessing, because you were called to this course, so that you might inherit a blessing."

Around you are your brothers and sisters who would die for you, just as you would die for them. Our Lord Jesus tells us, "By this all will know that you are my disciples, if you have love among yourselves." (John 13:35) Really how can we be true Christians if while we won't go to war and kill our brothers, we then kill them daily by our hateful speech and gossip? As Jesus said on the Sermon on the Mount continuing wrathful with a brother and speaking abusively of them is as good as murdering them. (Matthew 5:21,22)

We can't let petty differences drive us apart and cause us to fade away. Of what benefit is it if we spend 6,000 hours in the field service to bring one person to a knowledge of the truth when in the meantime twenty brothers and sisters have slipped out the backdoor due to discouragement or lack of attention? Our ministry would be in vain! Please remember that we are to "work what is good toward all, but especially those related to us in the faith." - Galatians 6:10

It should not be a secret to you how close we are to the end. The great tribulation comes closer by the day. The only thing that is going to get us through that challenging time is our reliance on Jehovah God. Severe trials await us in the future and only those knowing their God will be able to act effectively. (Daniel 11:32) Now is the time to grow in faith and love for our Father, Jehovah God. Sure we know about Him but do we really know Him?

When we experience day-to-day trials we need to use these opportunities to perfect our faith and build our endurance. As James says, "Consider it all joy, my brothers, when you meet with various trials, knowing as you do that this tested quality of your faith works out endurance. But let endurance have its work complete, that you may be complete and sound in all respects, not lacking in anything." (James 1:2-4) Endurance is such a vital quality as far as salvation goes because as Jesus says, "he that has endured to the end is the one that will be saved." – Matthew 24:13

We are so close we just need to hang on. No matter what happens in the future do not allow it to pull you away from your God. Hang your complete faith and trust in Jehovah and Jesus alone. (John 14:1) "Do not put your trust in nobles, nor in the son of earthling man, to whom no salvation belongs." (Psalm 146:3)

My love for you continues to burn strong. I will not cease offering up prayers on your behalf. I am here for you if ever you need me, but I completely understand if you will feel compelled to shun for the time being. I will not hold this against you. I'm confident that all wrongs hidden will be uncovered and these betrayals of justice will be straightened out soon. As Jesus says, "And will not God bring about justice for his chosen ones, who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice, and quickly." - Luke 18:7,8a; NIV

So therefore let us continue to look forward with hope, not looking back with sorrow. Can you imagine what joys await us in the future? Imagine the entire universe united in perfect love and speaking only words of truth. Heaven and earth joined in praising our Heavenly Father and His Beloved Son, Our King, Christ Jesus. (Psalm 96) No more pain. No more tears. No suffering. No abuse. "The former things have past away." (Revelation 21:3,4) Can you picture that perfect day?

True there is a lot of pain and hardship now; but did we expect anything less, so close to the end, in a world controlled by the wicked one? Hold on friends – we are going to make it through! I love how Paul puts it, "Consequently I reckon that the sufferings of the present season do not amount to anything in comparison with the glory that is going to be revealed in us" (Romans 8:1

I will now end this in these important words of the Apostle John -- "Little children guard yourselves from idols." - 1 John 5:21

Yours through the love of the Christ to the end and beyond,

AM
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Author of 'Happiness: How to Find It'

AGUEST SAID

was able to permeate even hard hearts, dear Anthony (peace to you!). Of course, they don't very often (or many hearts - one, maybe two)... because the love you expressed cannot be "received" by most JWs - they aren't taught love by their leaders, what is said about that to the contrary.

I am glad that you are here and progressing on your journey toward the Light - I can see a change in you, as well... and I am overjoyed of it! It is our goal to make this forum a "city of refuge" so that it IS safe to post such, at least without unnecessary attack/malicious challenge. If it gets so that such cannot be controlled, perhaps the administrator will consider approving posters first, then allowing them to post. I hope it doesn't come to that but that all who post remember what it was like to be unduly censored by the WTBTS... and thus reciprocally allow ALL their freedom of speech here.

It was a lovely letter and I am glad you shared it with us. Again, peace to you!

Your servant and a slave of Christ,

SA

NAMBO SAID

Hello Anthony, a lovely and truly Christian letter.
Would be interesting to know what "Apostasy" they DFed you for if willing to share.
Was it that you where Anointed, or that you wanted to show more genuine Christian Love to those lonely elderly ones in your congregation, or the clue in your last line, did you consider the Governing body had formed itself into a Golden calf?

I used to visit the old widows in the congregation who loved me coming around as their lives having no part of the world where left somewhat empty between meetings, this however, I was eventually told I should not do, didnt look good for single brothers to be alone with single sisters, never mind I was 29 and they where in their 80s, Christian love comes second to doctrines of men.

As for Anointing, such was the organisations rhetoric on being anointed, that I never considered myself such whilst attending, its only now, looking back and understanding the scriptures more, that I consider I was anointed maye a half hour after my baptism for whereas before I had felt Holy Spirit internally, I then and only then felt it pour down over my head and down my body externally, and surely thats what anointing is?

ANTHONY SAID

Hello Nambo --

It is a long story. Officially I was disfellowshipped over the UN issue and the idolatry of the FDS. However, my 'doubts' about those two things didn't come out until the judicial grinding wheel was already in motion.

One of the elders on my committee actually became 'apostate'. He posted on JWD as snakesinthetower. It was speaking to him a couple years later that I was able to get the background information.

My problems with the elders actually started when I partook the first time. I received a shepherding call to convince me not to partake. When I didn't accept this counsel things started to get tense in the congregation with some of the elders. Little did I know that the Circuit Oversee had warned the elders to be on the lookout for 'new anointed' as suspect for apostasy. So I was under scrutiny for a year. If I had a talk in the second school, the PO would get up and follow me to listen to what I said. He was also reading my blog and printing out information. The elders thought that I spoke too much about doing good to others and about Jesus and that made me sound like Christendom. They got upset when I said a prayer and didn't use the name Jehovah, instead referring to God as 'father'. They got upset when I wrote on my blog, "The congregation that we love so much does not belong to any taking the lead among us, but to Christ."

It was really nothing hugely 'apostate' but enough for them to eventually drag me into the back room and assault me with a list of questions: Do you believe in the Faithful & Discreet Slave? Do you believe in taking blood transfusions, holidays, disfellowshipping ... etc. When I answered truthfully it was enough to go forward with a Judicial Committee.
_________________
Author of 'Happiness: How to Find It'
www.anthonymathenia.com

NAMBO SAID

When I read experiences such as yours, I think that even worst than the failed prophesy's and doctrines of men revealing the truth about the "truth", its the Christian Spirit that says the most about a religion, and Jesus himself said it was Love rather than any works that would identify his people, and its this Christian Spirit that is so lacking in the organisation, in fact it seems to have the opposite spirit, and a Stalinist determination to hunt down and root out any genuine Christianity.