xjwsforChrist

Today I was having lunch in town with my adult son.

I hadn't noticed her until she got up to walk across the restaurant. She was just on the point of passing our table, when I saw that the stooped little old lady was a sister from the local KH. She had been particularly kind and friendly to me in those days...only just over a year ago. She and I had got to know each other very well. She is in her late eighties, but very sprightly, very alert, always the essence of graciousness. I liked her very much.

Now, I am a naturally open and friendly person. I tend to greet people with a big smile and a nice word, automatically. I didn't stop to think that she was a JW. I was just genuinely, instinctively pleased to see her. I said "Oh, it's V***! (Her name.) How lovely to see you!" I was just beginning to say "how are you?" when she turned her face to me very briefly, gave me the coldest and briefest half-smile, and scuttled away.

My son could not believe the rudeness of the behaviour. I had been about to introduce him. "That," I told him,"was Jehovah's Witness shunning. In action."

"I saw," he said, "I couldn't believe my eyes!"

Now, the strange thing is that, as far as I'm aware, she's under no obligation to shun me. I was never a Witness proper. I hadn't been baptised when I left, although I had been an active "unbaptised publisher" for a good six months, and I was within days of being baptised, had been told I'd acquitted myself with flying colours in my answers to the pre-baptismal questions, showing, said the chief elder, better knowledge than most of the sisters in the KH. (So amusing, their male chauvinism!)

As far as I know, an unbaptised publisher who walks away doesn't get shunned. But maybe they've got a special policy for someone who is clearly so deviant to go back to the Catholic Church! (Though my study conductress greeted me effusively the other week.)

Anyway, it was a strange encounter. I felt a bit sad, that this old lady could change her manner so. My son said it was an eye-opener. Most of all, I just felt the sheer rudeness.

Really sad

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Thanks, Jochy and Outlaw.

Yes, Jochy, it was sad.

Outlaw, you have hit the nail absolutely on the head. It was, as you say, her automatic response. I had come to realise, from observation and things that people said, that turning away from people, no matter how close (and of course she and I were not close, merely friendly) was what they did.

My very best friend among the JW's was a very elderly lady in another congregation. The District Organiser had put her in touch with me because she was the only other person among the JW's he had ever an countered with my particular background. (I won't go into details here, but it is distinctive and unusual enough to be very rare in JW-land and also makes me instantly identifiable.) She and I did indeed hit it off and did become very very close. She still rings me occasionally, though she can't stop herself from talking about Jehovah in the wistful hope that I'll return to the fold, so I tend not to encourage her, and that's sad too. But anyway, she has two grandsons in their twenties, father an elder, mother a staunch JW, who are disfellowshipped for kicking over the traces at uni, and therefore shunned by the whole family, cast out. She is an otherwise highly intelligent and lovely person, who still feels she has to obey this stricture because it's what Jehovah wants. How does she know that's what Jehovah wants? Because the Society says so, and they speak for Jehovah.

Bonkers. And very sad.

I had come to the conclusion, from observations while I was "in", (and although not baptised I was horrifyingly active, knocking on doors with a will and handing out literature and books with lamentable zeal), that every single JW lives in watchful awareness of those who slip, in which case they are instantly snitched on to the elder-police, and of those who are watching them in case they can be made to fall from grace.

The whole bang lot live in a state of chronic paranoia, mixed with a kind of dutiful malice, coated with regretful but gleeful false-sorrow.

I am sorry that you experienced that, dear Char (peace to you, dear one!). And you've hit that nail on the head: JW-land in a nutshell!

But they are to be pitied versus held in contempt (not saying you are, but just making a point for readers). Because we were once part of them, many of us here, even if we didn't sign full on: we took part and participated to some degree or another. Just as WE were given eyes to see, though, and either came out or avoided full indoctrination, MERCY requires us to hope the same for any still in. That they WILL wake up... and GET OUT OF HER.

For those of us who were in... or close to... though, it shouldn't be that hard to understand how that can be: the organization is VERY persuasive. Indeed, they are PROS at fomenting and using their propaganda to "mislead, if possible EVEN the chosen ones." It is folly for anyone to think they are immune; some very intelligent people are a part of that particular harlot (as well as the others). Indeed, it is usually the GOOD in such folks... and desire for TRUTH... that draw them to these organizations. And the leaders of these organizations know it, for the most part. They follow proven techniques used even in the military to "brainwash," as well as appeal to folks inherent goodness and love of truth. As a result, many are "blinded" by the "light" of these organizations and institutions. Again, EVEN the chosen ones can be misled.

I realize that it's hard to feel pity and compassion for people who not only follow so blindly, but who treat others horribly as a result. But I keep reminding myself, "There but for the grace of God." I could STILL be one of them... and engaging in such conduct, and demonstrating that "form of godly devotion [that] proves FALSE to its power." I COULD be. Praise JAH, I'm not... but I still wouldn't wish being so on ANYONE... when the "lights" all finally come on. Not even my worse enemy. I cannot imagine the horror these will feel when finally coming to know their own "nakedness"... before God and all creation... doing so far too late to put on "clothing."

I know what it felt like when I "woke up." Relief, yes, of course. GREAT relief. But also some embarassment at having been "blind" in the first place. I sense that you feel both, as well. That is yet another reason, though, why I share what I do: in the hopes that some WILL get it... WAKE UP... and get OUT of her... before it's too late to do so.

Again, I am sorry for you, for anyone who experiences similar... and for those who engage in this conduct. There is NO love in it, and therefore, NO Christ in it, either.

Peace to you!

YSSFS of Christ,

Shellama

Yes, Shel, I agree.

I hadn't meant contempt to come across out of what I wrote. I don't feel it, for the most part...well, no, not contempt for any. I do feel great compassion for many. Less, perhaps, for those who hound others, who bully, who treat others with contempt, as with the elders' view, in accordance with the Society, that the sisters are lesser beings than the men.

I very much disliked what came across to me as the schoolboy-like behaviour of even the very senior elders, which I observed on more than one occasion, not from the few intelligent and more cultured and thoughtful men, of whom there were one or two. But some of them, and that included the most senior, were bigoted bullies who felt themselves superior to others and yet behaved at times like the more objectionable type of schoolboy.

I feel immensely sad for some, particularly those with whom I was truly very friendly, such as the very elderly lady in a neighbouring congregation, and another younger woman who, like me, loves gardening and growing things and wild life and nature in general, both really lovely people. They are brainwashed though they think they're not, deceived and manipulated and so very much not free. How could one feel anything but sadness?

Some of the others, those who were spiteful, who acted out of jealousy, vied with each other for position, and judged and bullied their colleagues, I suppose I have less compassion for them.

I TOTALLY agree, dear Char (again, peace to you!): it is VERY difficult to feel compassion for some of them. That is how I came to know that I didn't FULLY know love, dear one. When I learned that I had to have compassion even for the hardest ones to do so. I was like, "Wait, Lord, but... well, he... they... did you SEE what they did to/how they treated me??!!" And of course, he did. He told me, though, that I had to learn the "surpassing" way, that loving those who love me and/or are kind to/supportive of me was not "enough." That I HAD to learn to let love "cover" and SURPASS their transgressions (against) me.

Not just so I am not judged for MY transgressions (against others, him, and/or God)... but because that is the "righteousness" that will be required in his kingdom, and particularly of those who rule as kings and priests with him. He said that JAH forgives HIS enemies (us) all the time; that we don't get a fraction of what we "deserve" for transgressing againt HIM... and that that is the "peace" he is trying to teach us, the "subduing" work that he is doing: teaching us to PROVE ourselves the sons of God:

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may prove yourselves children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your own people, what extraordinary thing are you doing? Do not even the nations do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect." Matthew 5:43-48

By "perfect" he meant perfect in love. We spend SO much time trying to be "perfect" in every other way: how we look, what we do for a living, how we keep our homes, through our children, etc. All affectatious attempts, however, that have no credence with God. The "perfection" that we have to pursue is love... even as to those who don't love us.

And yes, ma'am, it can be VERY difficult, absolutely. More, even, for some (like me - I would prefer to have nothing to do with people who want nothing to do with me, but... well, love... REAL love... doesn't allow that). This is the PRIMARY way we can see the "fruits" of the WTBTS, however. Since their "fruits", as manifest in how this poor lady dismissed you, show a LACK of love for those not "like" them... and not even an attempt to overcome that lack... such "fruit" CANNOT be from God.

I know YOU know all of this, dear Char - I'm just expounding on it for those who might not yet know, perhaps because of being new to the things of the spirit and of God.

Again, peace to you, dear one!

YSSFS of Christ,

Shellama