xjwsforChrist

Dear Diary,

I wish I had something insightful say. But I don't. I lost my interest in the latest Samurai Jack episode rerun and found the pepsi slightly dull. I had the day off, and now, am sick *HACK, HURL, COUGH.* I guess it's not the first time i've had a nosocomial infection. The place is a mess *points to sock on the floor.* The cats full of fleas *Looks at the cat who's doing that out stretch leg lick revealing-gential-area-thing* and my nose is making 3 different semitones based upon which position i'm sitting in.

A.D.D. mode activate!

She was sitting at the beach as the sun sank deep into the ocean. The salt water was fresh and overwhelming to her white bulbous nose. She couldn't help but question 'WHY?' The seagulls were flying above at a nearby peer made of rocks. The sun let out a purple-blue-red and orange-gold color over the interspersed clouds on the horizon. A tear fell down and mingled in with the sand below making a dark oval shape impression.

A sail boat was moving slowly across the shards of flicking light on the water. There was a hint of endless peace in the air but no peace was within her. She stood up and walked over to the edge of the water as the waves brushed up against her feet. She had nightmares. Terrifying nightmares of him. The shot gun, bald head with brown hat. And all he did was kill and wanted to kill. She couldn't escape this feeling of terror in her abdomen. She looked around to see if anyone would notice, and no one did. And without mercy, the question kept repeating over and over again...'Why? ...Why? I don't understand it. Why? Why couldn't Elmar Fudd leave that poor rabbit alone?'

aaaaaaaaaaughhhhhh.......im' so sick, up, mildly hallucinating.........complaining........gotta sleep. Night

Me

You made me chuckle Voices, but I'm sorry you're feeling poorly.

Loz x

_________________
"This is my son. LISTEN to Him!"

Lol... that was funny, even though I'm sorry you're sick!

I also LOVE Samurai Jack : ) Haven't watched him in forever!

peace,
tammy

Dear Voice is a HOOT, yes, dear ones (peace to you all, and sorry to hear you're feeling poorly, dear V... but that (prolly) explains the hallucinations, although, knowing you... Then, again, maybe it's the meds you're takin'/tea you're drinkin').

But, now, tell us: did "she" throw herself into the churling foam of the surf, never to surface again (or maybe her body surfaced later under the pier... her head battered and swollen from having been smashed repeatedly against the rocks by the never-ending current)... after being unable to resolve the pain in her abdomen and reconcile the loss of her beloved wabbit?

Orrrr... did she, after pulling one leg of her tiny bikini out of her ample touche (where it had wandered while she sat on the sand reflecting on the demise of the gangly-toothed one) simply saunter, "Jessica Rabbit"-like on down the beach... stopping muscled men in their tracks and knocking over drooling male adolescents as she passed... 'cause, well, no use wasting more than one tear over some wascally wabbit that got himself caught with the wife of a wabbit hunter named Fudd and so got what he deserved... cute as a button although he was?

???????

Inquiring minds want to know. They also thought perhaps a continuation of the story might take your mind off your nose (ewwww!) for a couple/few secs, your ADD notwithstanding...

Peace... and make sure you wash your hands (and the cat's tongue!)!

YSSFS,

Shellama... who loves creative drama... on her own...

...well.....wow....uh.....

Well actually this is what happens:

She was not wearing a bikini. She had a black blouse that's laced in the back with black dress pants. This was to conceal the third nipple that the doctors were unable to remove, which now looked like Bill Cosby's left hand smacking Tony Danza's bare right butt cheek, over Cosbys lap, arguing for royalty check rights, including, but not limited to, the jello franchise, while screaming in his Cosby Accent: 'MMMNOW Who's YOUR boss BITCH!?'

A sudden thought occurred to her: "Perhaps there was a solution, if only I could get to team together"

She raced back to the local internet cafe on A1A coastline called 'The Spiders Web.' And as she sat down at the computer began AOL. With various attempts she tries to sign on but to no avail. "Obsolete programs are so frustrating" she mutters to herself. The computer continues to freeze until finally it states: "You have performed an illegal operation. AOL must close now." She seethes with fury and yells out loud 'AND I DIDN'T EVEN GET ANY PLEASURE OUT OF IT!' and suddenly realizes her error and quickly abandons the cafe and runs out to her car.

And there, hidden in a secret location, behind the middle seat in the back was the answer. Her Apple Macbook Pro 17 Inch 2.7Ghz quad-core, Intel Core i7 Processor (the Turbo Boost that goes up to 3.7 Ghz) with 6Mb Shared L3 Cache.

She quickly turns it on and turns the wifi (airport) on. "Nothing beats an Apple!" she states under her breath. A list of various wifi names show up such as:

"NetGear39"

"Costcowifi"

"You're Music is annoying."

"Your grammer is annoying."

"Your spelling sucks."

"Hokked-oan-phonix-wurked-phor-mei"

and finally "at&t free Wifi"

"JACKPOT!" she exclaims in excitement!

She connects and goes to the ONE place she knows that has everything you need. If the internet were to go down, this one website would be a great loss, cause it has it all. Anything from computer electronics to your next lover: ... Craigslist

Opening up a new post she cracks her fingers and begins the full message with a phone number for immediate text messages and within 3 mins, her phone vibrates:

"I'm texting about the craigslist add you put up. Codename: Rabbit"

"Yes, What do you do for a living?"

"I hunt and kill aliens"

"What? Aliens arn't real you retard!"

"Have you ever seen one?"

"No"

"You're f$#king welcome. Just call me D"

She smiles and makes arrangements with him to meet at a clandestine location called The Taco

(or as they say in spanish: Del Taco which for some reason doesn't make ANY sense because that isn't even correct in the hispanic culture as evident by my 9th grade Espanol teacher who is mexican and swears up and down that she didn't know what the hell they were thinking when they thought of that titled)

Which coincidentally was next to the FU KING Chinese Fast Food.

Then suddenly her Nokia Windows Based phone suddenly begins to malfunction. (...) The screen begins to shake and goes jagged in response. And her windows movie app begins to activate. Curiously as it begins to open, she notices the lower half of a face where the only mouth appears.

"greetings hahuh hahuha ha"

"NO, it can't BE! this line was SECURE! I KNEW I should've GOTTEN AN APPLE IPHONE!!!!!" ....as her apple computer silently hums to the great speed connection Quad-core I7 works. (windows suck)

"I see ou have thinking about da wabbit. And ou think ou can stop widdle ol' me?hahuh hahuha hahuha ha,"

and just as quickly flickers off. She throws her phone out of the car and screeches out of her parking space. Burning rubber she races towards her destination. Anger broils inside her at the thought of the losing control that most women tend to have whenever another man takes it from them, instead of men being subservient to their desire. And then women be all up and gettin' REVENGE by messin' up his shoes. (YEAH! I WENT THERE! WHATCHU GONNA DO FOO'? I should smoked yo ass fo f&%kin up my Jordans, but omlette it go dis time.)

She races across Commercial blvd and heads for the 5 freeway. And her phone vibrates again:

"He's HERE! How could he have known? he's HERE! HURRY! HE HASN'T SEEN ME YET!"

"Sneak outside and meet me in the back" She responds.

Speeding at 103 mph and zigzagging through traffic, she gets off on exit 45 and screeches through parking lot to a halt. She jumps out and goes into her trunk and opens up her weapons compartment. Pulling out a trench coat and loading up her shotgun she happily named: Zipporah's Revenge.

Suddenly the lights get dim in the parking lot, and the crickets begin to go silent. A haze filled the parking lot, low to the ground. And then as if put into another dimension, the world outside the lot got completely dark. The air got cold and her breath hung in the air a few inches from her face as her breathing slowed down. Everything slowed down. Night had set in. It was as if time had stopped for a brief moment. A chill ran up her spine as she grabs hold of the shotgun. And suddenly a voice speaker speaks "Tank yu fo choosin' Fu King Chinese Drive tru' and panic strikes through her as she gains sight across the street. "OH SHIT!" she screams. "I'M ON THE WRONG SIDE."

*BAM! BAM* ...the gunfire echo's through the night as she races across the street to find a duck running through the parking lot hooting and jumping at every shot fired in a hysterical frenzy. "oh ...my...god..." she realized, as every thing flashed before her eyes of her clandestine meet. *Insert fast close up camera lens face shot here*

"I hunt and kill aliens"...echoed in her mind. *Please click the following link for full dramatic effects*

http://youtu.be/nG1MmUHMuCg

That ego....arrogant joke...

http://youtu.be/nG1MmUHMuCg


"Do you see any aliens?" ...

http://youtu.be/nG1MmUHMuCg

"No" she had responded...

http://youtu.be/nG1MmUHMuCg

aliens...Martians.....Melvin....

http://youtu.be/nG1MmUHMuCg

"Just call me D."

http://youtu.be/nG1MmUHMuCg

It was Duck Dodgers of the 21st and a half century

http://youtu.be/nG1MmUHMuCg

..

http://youtu.be/nG1MmUHMuCg
.
http://youtu.be/nG1MmUHMuCg

... being shot at by Elmar Fudd.

http://youtu.be/nG1MmUHMuCg

She fires her shot gun towards Elmar, who happened to be wearing a Silver chain around his neck and 3 rings on each finger and a gold tooth seen in the nightlight. Elmar ducks and gets back inside the Taco, but not before firing one last shot and hitting Duck D.

Duck D. spins out of control in mid air and lands on his spleen, rupturing it and shouts: "AHHHH my appendix!"
She runs over to him picks him up and watches to note Elmar reloading his gun. Duck D. now begins to look up and says "Help me please, i'm too moist and tender to retire"...and....dies.

Stay tuned for the next sequence. *DUN DUN DUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN*

Me

p.s. Everything in this entire story, though it has taken us through sex, race, animal cruelty and seer stupidity is not to be taken in anyway serious. All this is strictly for comical purposes and should not be seen in any other light. I don't even have Jordans. If you do have a problem with this, all I gotta say is...

IT'S CAUSE I'M BLACK AINT' IT? AIN'T IT? Shhheeeeyit!

there's something mentally wrong with me...lol

Ummmmm... an' all ah wuz thankin' wuz "Po' ol' wabbit, wut dun got wit a floozy hoo dun gon an' fogotabowt him alreddy"...



Wahl, ah means... ya'll ya'llz sef dun sed it. Ya'll iz HELLA funnie, tho.

LOLOLOLOLOL!

Might wanna consider checking out some Ritalin or sumthin', tho' - LOLOLOLOL! No, seriously, you aw-ight. Funny in a weird sorta way... but you had ME rollin'!

Peace, luv... and SOUUUuuuuuuul!

Shellama, OH so on her own, here... LOLOLOL!