I am thinking about all this, but, just one tiny point.
Tammy, you wrote:
Quote:
xjwsforchrist-which you are, Char...
Now, here is the thing. You are not alone in saying that. Others have said it online, and even members of my family, or maybe, thinking about it, just one daughter, but it struck home very sharply. Yet in my mind and heart I always had the deep down knowledge that, contrary to JW teaching, baptism is in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and recognised across all denominations as baptism per se, apart from with JW's and probably Unitarians. (I think I've said as much or similar before and Shelby actively disagreed.) I knew that being re-baptised is a logical non-sequitur, as much a conceptual nonsense as drinking the same glass of water twice. It can't heppen. I was baptised at two months old. Once and for all.
Jehovah's Witnesses combine the concept of baptism with the concept of personal choice, thereby denying the power of the Holy Spirit in baptism. It is as though nothing happens at baptism other than a person's public declaration of choice. The Watchtower allows no concept of sacrament, no outward and visible sign of an inward invisible grace. They speak of God's (Jehovah's) Judgement...they'll say "Jehovah and Christ" or even, as some say here, "God and Christ" as if the two are not both separate and one...what God will do, Christ will do.
But, I knew, deep down, that once I had been received into the Catholic Church I could not be un-Catholicked, as it were. From my point of view, I was never a JW, and yet, it was true, to everyone else I was presenting in that light.
Yes, I was brainwashed. They did a good job on me. But, in my heart, deep down, I knew that it wasn't so yet. So, as to whether I was, as you say, a JW, I don't think that was totally the case. I did not lose my powers of reason, which basically has to happen before one becomes fully a JW. One has to accept that the little brown "Reasoning" book actually contains reasoning rather than propaganda.
As I approached their version of "baptism", and definitely helped by the behaviour of two elders and an elder's wife, which I now recognise...and at depth knew at the time...was God's means of intervening and showing me exactly the reality of what I was doing, I saw with total clarity the horror of the abyss yawning before me. I had been telling myself deep inside that deep down I was still Catholic, and therefore safe. I knew that once Catholic, however badly lapsed, I could never be other than Catholic.
As I write that I know that some will "take issue" with that, maybe arguing ....because I can see the keyboards getting active now...that I have absorbed Catholic propaganda. *sigh* Those immersed lifelong within the Orwellian Watchtower have absolutely no knowledge and no experience of the fundamental simplicity of the Mass, of the sheer beauty and joy and personal encounter with Christ during the course of Mass itself and of the physical and spiritual reality of Holy Communion, so the task of getting across the actuality of faith to minds set to deny it is something to which I believe I am not equal.
The reality of Christ's love within the Church is explicitly portrayed by the attitudes and actions of priests and people when I returned to it, which I did not do right at the very beginning. For six months I was, as it were, in the wilderness. As I have said before, I went back to the Church and came here at the same time.