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AGUEST SAID
May you all have peace! Unfortunately, some of the "training" we received from the WTBTS is that we are "never wrong", as well as that one MUST assert their position and not back down (hence, the purpose of the "Reasoning" Book, to "help" JWs to do that but hopefully without being jerks - not sure it always works - LOL!).
My point is that JWs aren't TAUGHT to accept others' opinions/positions... or even to listen to, discuss, or debate them (and so, with very few exceptions, they DO none of those). It is solely, totally, and only to assert their WTBTS beliefs and understandings. Period. As result, those who tend to do that anyway are drawn TO them or continue to do it one even after leaving. Kind of like it's inherent in them, anyway, and certainly a manifestation of their uncontrolled emotions.
Of course, there are people who are not and never were JWs who are the same way. These, though, whether exJWs, r/atheists (?), etc., take it a step further - they become aggressive, hostile, malicious, even vicious if one doesn't agree with them or if they disagree with your position. Some don't care if you are right and they wrong: it's about loyalty (you CANNOT like or agree with something THEY don't like/agree with). Some are textbook passive/aggressive, starting out with "Oh, I have no problem with your position/opinion" but belying that by HOW they comment/respond (with malice). Or "I don't have a problem with YOU" but belying that by how they use personal attacks and inuendo (again, with malice), and particularly the level and INTENT behind such. Sometimes ridicule/sarcasm is just that; other times it is intentionally meant to cause pain/harm; translation: malice.
I hope that we can avoid that kind of "disagreement", here, though. We don't HAVE to agree but we should be able/endeavor to treat all others with respect and regard simply because they are fellow human beings with a right to differing beliefs and opinions. Hopefully, when we disagree we can restrict such to the content of the argument... and possibly state state reasons FOR disagreement coherently... rather than letting our emotions get the best of us so that we end up attacking the person themselves. The latter is just so... puerile and "high school" to me.
I might add that I do sometimes marvel that, at age 50+, I STILL encounter grown-butt people who engage in such tactics... all the while heralding how "intelligent" they are - I've had the opportunity to know and/or see some of the truly intelligent in action... and I can honestly say that I've never them resort to such. That's me, though... who knows how others act "behind the scenes" and so what others may have seen?
Anyway, I'M glad you posted it, dear Burns (peace to you!), and have absolutely NO problem with someone posting similar as regards "believers"... because the latter engages in the same behavior as well. Neither camp is immune. Personally, I like the middle ground, though, where one stands firm on their beliefs, opinions, and principles, yet graciously allows others to do the same. Doesn't mean one doesn't counter the others' beliefs, opinions, and principles... or "waters down" what they have to say about them or anything else... but that one knows how to TAKE IT... graciously... when others don't agree with them, indeed, even telling others that it's okay.
Because it really IS okay to agree to disagree. It is NOT a cop out. It is merely a mutual kindness and granting to another the same consideration one would want granted to himself/herself: the freedom to CHOOSE what to believe. To hear... or refrain.
Again, peace to you all!
A slave of Christ,
SA
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